Part 3/6: How to go from ‘burned out’ to boundless energy
Talking about burn out is like repeatedly showing scary commercials of people dying that tell you to stop smoking.
We’re like “YES…we KNOW whatever I’m doing is ‘bad’…but fuck it I’m going to do it anyway”
Why do we respond like this?
Because even if we KNOW something isn’t working or isn’t ‘good’ for us…
…that’s not enough for us to change.
And the question that we’re not asking is…
“Well, why SHOULD we change? What is the point?”
Especially if you’ve been smoking for years and you haven’t experienced any negative side effects, you literally have NO incentive to never buy a pack again.
It’s the exact same thing when it comes to money and why people don’t save as much as they could–they’re not looking far enough into the future to see what costs they’ll have, or what they’ll want at that time.
But again…it’s just not ENOUGH to do that! People think: “When the time comes, I’ll figure it out” and they continue to act in the same way.
Hell, I don’t blame them!
Though I STILL don’t understand why anti-tobacco companies haven’t figured out a better way to help people stop smoking, that’s not the point of our email today.
Just like we’ve been doing the past few days, we’re starting to see that things like ‘procrastination’ and ‘overwhelm’ are just SYMPTOMS of a deeper challenge. And actually, that they are trying to tell us something important and when we listen, we can (finally!) figure out what’s really going on with us.
And the good news is, it’s the same exact concept with ‘burn out’.
‘Burn out’ is a symptom that can tell you A LOT
- For one, it tells you that while you are excellent at saying yes, you likely need some help saying no. (And that perhaps it’s time to stop obsessing over ‘Inbox Zero’ and have lunch away from your desk instead)
- It tells you that you are likely indeed talented and successful enough to have so much on your plate, but you need help figuring out where you energy is BEST spent (aka, figuring out what your true priorities are)
- And, most importantly, it tells you that there are parts of your life that are ‘taking the lead’–and your other ‘limbs’ have been cut off. Usually the scale tips towards career, while relationships, fun, passions, and creativity are left on the back burner.
Even though this may feel uncomfortable, this is GOOD NEWS.
Because if we can figure out–for YOU–what’s causing the ‘burn out’ we can do things to get our system working great again.
This means that you’re no longer in the dark about why you feel like your tank always feels empty, and that you no longer have to be at the whims of other people’s needs feeling like you don’t have a choice.
Because here’s the epiphany of the year:
YOU HAVE CONTROL
One client I worked with, who used to feel like everything was chaotic in her life as a busy mom and couldn’t understand how time would slip away from her, felt radically different when I told her: “You are in complete control of your life.”
You really are!
But why don’t we believe it…at least at first?
Usually all of these ‘symptoms’, like burn out and procrastination can tell you that at one point or another, you were taught that your feelings and what you wanted didn’t matter. Which is another way of saying that if you were upset, the response you got was: “Stop feeling that way” and you were not listened to like you needed to be listened to.
Because when we’re conditioned to push down our feelings, we push down everything else, too.
It is no wonder that even if we feel ‘burned out’…it can start to feel so normal that you don’t notice it anymore. It has become that easy to ignore!
But that’s just a pattern…or habit…
…and by definition, those things can be changed.
It’s like when I was out to dinner with my mom last weekend, and she asked my fiance if I nag him like she nags my step-dad. I looked at her and said: “Mom…nagging is not hereditary”.
She laughed, but I meant it. It is something we CHOOSE to do!
And what you’re experiencing now is NOT hereditary, either. Even if your parents are like this, it doesn’t matter. There is no ‘gene’ for procrastination.
What does this mean for you?
Like I mentioned before, one of the best ways to heal the problem of ‘burn out’ is to learn how to figure out what your true priorities are, and where your time is best spent. I think we all know how difficult this can be, considering priorities can change so often.
But here is my challenge today, for you: IF you had to start to figure out what your true priorities are…how would you do it?
Reply back and let me know. I’m going to be sharing a lot more about this on Monday.
PS: If you want to get the rest of this series, join my private email list below to get Parts 4-6!