Special for the men today: How do you get more ‘confident’
My friend and I were sitting at a sushi restaurant at 12 AM in LA, and we were talking about what kind of superpower we’d want to wake up with the next day.
Naturally, I said Batman. I don’t believe I need to explain the inherent benefits of being Batman.
But my friend said something that intrigued me.
He said: “Confidence”
My ears perked up, and I ‘leaned in’ like any good Sheryl Sandberg follower would.
And I said: “Confidence. What would you do if you were more confident?”
He talked about all the dreams he had that he would go after. He talked about how much more at ease he would feel.
And I thought, damn. Confidence really is a superpower, isn’t it?
Yet unfortunately, just like charisma, confidence is a vague, abstract concept that has been ruined by woo-woo self-help books that tell you to ‘brush up on your Spanish’ in order to get it. (I’m not kidding, this is a real thing I read).
I want to balk at this, but on the other hand, I understand.
If you have no solid definition of confidence…and only a vague idea of what it looks like…that doesn’t really set anyone up to actually show you a step-by-step, system-like process for how to get it. (And it isn’t as easy as taking a magic pill one morning and suddenly having it for life).
So What’s The Difference in Confidence For Men and Women?
Honestly, not much.
There is 1 thing that I’ve noticed.
Women tend to deal a lot more with perfectionism and ‘Imposter Syndrome’. I.e. — “I may be successful, but I feel like I shouldn’t be here.”
But men feel like they have to be a ‘certain way’ in order to look or be perceived as confident. Which usually means what alpha male behavior looks like. And which could be interpreted as cocky, ‘jock’, aggressive, loud, and outgoing.
And I do hope that after being on my list, you know that even if that’s what society glamorizes…this isn’t the kind of person you have to be in order to be truly confident. (The kind that isn’t faked).
So today, I wanted to share an article I wrote on The Good Men Project with you: What I Learned About True Confidence From My Husband-to-Be
Why you men will love it: This is a lady’s perspective on what true confidence in a man can look like. Of course, the article is about my fiance, and he doesn’t fit the mold of super loud aggressive jock guy (which I believe make him even more of a man). The 3 qualities I talk about that he has I believe will have him getting hit on for the rest of his life.
Why you ladies will love it: While this article isn’t exactly for you, it’s another model of confidence for you to look at. Especially where I talk about how to ‘do what fits with your natural style’ instead of trying to force ourselves into little personality boxes that don’t mesh with who we are (creating a lot of extra and unnecessary stress and anxiety)
Enjoy the article: What I Learned About True Confidence From My Husband-to-Be.
And then, let me know: What’s the biggest struggle you have with ‘confidence’ right now?